The New Queer Conscience
Eli argues that queer people need to be responsible for one another, not just locally, but globally, and for other oppressed people, using principles of intersectionality, mutual aid, direct action, and Jewish ethics. Eli draws parallels between queerness and Jewishness, like how queer culture is erased, queer people were sent to death camps, how queer community can be a “nation”, and even saying “queer people anywhere are responsible for queer people everywhere”.
I felt the contents of the book was pretty obvious but maybe that’s because I’m a leftist. This book isn’t a bad read at all. Standing at only 64 pages, this is a must read for any queer, particularly newly-engaged queer, queers of privilege (looking at you, white queers), and any queer who’s way too into identity politics and infighting, and their allies. With the wave of harrassment campaigns against trans women on Tumblr (which I firmly believe is an act of extrajudicial violence) and “transandrophobia” being used to silence transfeminist critiques of queer culture instead of creating solidarity between trans people, we ought to remember the teachings of this book.
- [i] this has an audiobook version, which would probably be a nice, uplifting read during a sick day.
Summary of The New Queer Conscience
1. We approach all queer people with the principles of identification and kindness.
Eli does not think that that treating each other based on the golden rule is useful for queer people, who often have little self-worth due to othering and systemic oppression. Rather, he wants queer people to treat each other how one wants their best friend to be treated, instead of judging each other, using radical empathy, kindness, and the benefit of the doubt with each other. Even if one doesn’t personally like the other, one should be kind and helpfu anyways, because being queer is hard.
2. Treat newly out people with a particular kindness and understanding
Eli says that we should not take advantage of inexperienced queer people (“baby gays”, as some might say lol). We should make them comfortable, give them space and encouragement, and give them a safe space they can belong in. We should be willing to help them with their troubles. This is because newly out queers are the future of queerness, and frankly, we all needed that kindness when we were baby gays.
3. Allow people to come out on their own terms.
Do not out someone. Do not question their identities. Rather, we make a space that make people want to come out of the closet.
4. Recognize that the playing field is not equal.
Being queer does not erase your privileges (or lack thereof). One should recognise one’s own privilege. Eli says that usually, people have 2 reactions to this: denial or guilt, which are “a waste of time”.
5. The more privileged members of our society must rally behind the less privileged.
Instead of feeling guilty or denying one’s privilege, one should use it to benefit other members of the community, particularly the most vulnerable members of the community, and to break down the systems that granted us such privilege. Eli grounds this on pikuach nefesh.
Eli talks about how Stonewall was started by queer POC, trans women, GNC lesbians and people, then how gay men with their male privilege took control of the gay liberation movement. During the AIDS crisis, though, lots of queer women turned up to help them. (exact quote: The New Queer Conscience#^1e2b08)
6. Ask “What can I do to help?” and listen to the answer.
To help other marginalised groups, listen to and learn and read about their experiences and the issues they face. Show up by introducing yourself and volunteering your help.
We are not the arbiters of whether or not a certain person beongs in the queer community.
7. LGBTQIAA+ people should work in solidarity with all oppressed people.
Never Again. Show solidarity with other oppressed people through charities, rallies and protests, and sharing resources (mutual aid), because we ought to, because our interests intersect, and because this is “the key to our continued survival”.
8. We have limited time and resources— let’s use them to lift each other up.
9.
10.
Quotes
Queers, like the Jews (and many, many others), have a culture with ancient roots. Like all communities, we have ancestors, traditions, and a history of our own. In every single culture throughout history, there is evidence of people experiencing same-sex love, being born intersex, and expressing nonbinary genders and other aspects of queerness. Queerness is a human trait like no other: ever present, inerasable, and entirely invincible. If you wiped out every single queer person, more queer people would just be born tomorrow.
We know for sure that there will always be another generation of queer kids. However, we have no guarantee that queer generations will cross paths, learn from, or even meet one another.
What also factors in to the absence of queer history is queer erasure. This is when mainstream society tries to remove queerness from the record books.
(…) The elimination of our culture can be veiled, like a lesson plan that erases queer people from history, but it can also present itself in more sinister, apparent ways. Queer people, like Jewish people, have faced extraordinary violence, oppression, and prejudice. Our history is often erased by the same people who try to physically erase us. The Nazis burned Magnus Hirschfeld’s library at the Institute for Sexual Science, and sent queer people to the death camps. Other times, our stories are destroyed by loved ones to preserve the family name, or by ourselves for our own safety. And, in general, history is often written by cisgender men who believe that stories of queer sex and love are inconsequential.
It is my dream that the queer community adopts a new set of rules. A set of rules that centers what queer people have in common with one another. A set of rules that positions queer people as players on the same team. A set of rules that uses our hard-won progress as a road map to a brighter, more welcoming world. A world where coming out is less painful and where fewer of us cry in the bathroom alone. A world where governments are met with a colossal and unified global resistance when they try to murder their queer citizens.
I believe that the queer community can foster an environment where it is seen as cool, socially desirable, and even expected that we look out for one another. This new culture of united action would be a safety net in times of crisis. And in times of peace it would ensure our community is a place of welcome, warmth, and joy. It will also ensure that we become and remain a safe haven for queer youth and newly out folks. It is my dream that this attitude become a cornerstone of queer life, identity, and culture. Let us be the standard of generosity and loyalty that all other people aspire to meet. Let us be a nation that shines like the brightest star in a constellation, spreading light to all those around it.
Queer people anywhere are responsible for queer people everywhere.
Allow me to introduce the platinum rule: Treat everyone how you want your best friend to be treated. Go ahead and think of the person you love most in the world. Maybe it is your mom, a partner, a beloved little cousin—someone you are proud of but also worry about. Someone whose future you are actively invested in. I am asking you to approach every queer person you meet the same way you approach them.
I tell myself that even if they don’t want to be my friend, I should look for ways to be kind or helpful, because I know how tough it is to be queer sometimes.
Newly out people are the future of our movement, peoplehood, and culture.
We do not expose someone’s queerness without their permission. (…) We do not question other people’s sexualities. Instead, we put all that time and effort into creating a community that is so warm and welcoming, folks will be bursting out of the closet to come and join us.
Stonewall, the event which many say launched the gay liberation movement, was started and primarily fought by queer people of color, street-hustling effeminate gay youth, trans women, butch lesbians, and gender non-conforming folks. However, once the fires of the riot had gone out, it was gay men, benefiting from male privilege, who took control of the movement throughout the 1970s.
By the mid-’80s, the gay male community was immobilized by the AIDS crisis. But huge numbers of women showed up to help. Women, queer and not, played a key role in the success of ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power)—the activist group that emerged in 1987 to fight the AIDS crisis. At the height of the crisis, HIV positive gay men were in desperate need of blood transfusions, but all gay men were barred from donating. So a group of lesbians in San Diego banded together and created a group called the Blood Sisters. Starting in 1983, they organized regular blood drives and set up systems so folks could apply for the type of blood they needed.
A fundamental principle of Jewish law and culture is “pikuach nefesh,” or “to save a life.” The concept is simple: Saving a life takes priority over all other considerations. When a human life is in jeopardy, almost every other law and religious practice goes out the window
That means we have no opinions on other people’s queerness. Let’s repeat that, for folks in the back: We do not qualify, deny, or question a person’s belonging to the queer community. No one queer experience is more valid than another.
It can be difficult to feel a sense of unity if your stories are not the same. This is not exclusive to just queer folks. No culture or group of people share a single lived experience.